all the issues I’d hide
to give you some time to bind the wounds that were still open wide.
I tried,
but your pride pushed us to separate spaces
and so quickly our union died.
Still, I stood by your side
fought past the judgements from loved ones who knew much more life than I.
Looking back, I wouldn’t have tried to save a thing.
I’d let the storms come and the tears flood,
let the damage remain.
In the midst of love, I placed myself in harm’s way.
and you convinced me to stay
in this cold bitter place.
I think you enjoyed the chase,
wanted someone you could tame.
I wanted more balance
and closure to calm the tides.
Instead, you move to the side
and watched the storm develop before our eyes.
Didn’t expect it to be me this time,
but I’ll take the hit if it means you survive.
To take a blow this hard,
I rehearsed it a hundred times.
I wish our love was better defined.
I wish you’d acknowledge how much
it’s taken to be this kind,
to fight the ballads that would play within my mind
and ignore the instincts that would’ve left you and I on separate sides.
Just imagine the person it would make,
years of putting out fires I didn’t create.
To be the casualty of a terror neither one of us could digest.
So I stayed silent and let your trauma ruin the rest.
To that child still screaming to be heard inside
when he creeps up from time,
pass on these words of mine.
When he comes to surface, don’t swallow the emotion, just let him be.
Let him sit and hear my pleads.
Don’t hide him away,
let him converse with me.
Tell him when I walked away, I stood against the pleas
to stay in a place that was no good for me.
Tell him how I struggle to forget the past,
regardless of the pain it brings.
Beyond the lavish walls and expensive things,
tell him how I fell in love with the man who saw no adoration in material things.
Ask him why he abandoned me.
Why he took for granted the time he had guaranteed.
It’s not beyond me to beg and plead,
but life is much too fragile to inhabit these places of grief,
to make homes of denial and disbelief.
To believe I would be the special case and everything would change for me.
Tell him how I miss those times when we were teens.
When we would sit and illustrate our dreams, piece by piece.
In this great future, we planned for no pain.
We didn’t plan for one to change, to break every promise and throw it all away
for a temporary fix,
for the stroke of the ego and minuscule gain.
Was it worth hurting me again?
Was it worth taking part in behaviors neither one of us could explain?
Regardless of the answers you give,
know that I don’t hate you, I never could.
I still love all the things we did,
all the laughs and cries, the hours we’d sit.
I’d do it all again, just to see that you the way I did.
]]>skies would turn to gray.
dark days would be a plenty
and hide the sun away.
it would be a hard
goodbye to say,
but I would keep it that way.
i’d let it decay,
i wouldn’t try and fix a single thing,
just let it wither away.
]]>A love that outshines the noise, and fulfillment with gifts.
a love that needs no validation
and is gentle with its healing.
a love with meaning.
a love that meets me in my chapters
walks me down each page and onto the next, regardless of how the story worsens.
I do believe true love exists
not because I’ve found it in another person
but because I’ve found it in this:
in my lowest moment, when life was all but gleam
I was comforted in my times of anguish
and through its shadows, I was seen.
no judgement, scolded shame
no heart as tender as mine to carry the blame.
in all my shortcomings and affairs with pain
I still believe true love exists
because His love for me remained the same.
]]>as they hope for better days in adulthood
and yearn for simpler times.
Who were robbed of the chance to know themselves
by opinions bigger than the mind.
I think of the hearts that had to adjust to the pace of life.
Lost children whose face grew somber as the years progressed
and they lost track of time.
Thinking how they could’ve done more to hold onto a dream that was determined to die.
]]>cried myself to sleep.
When I awoke I was surrounded by the trees, deep meadows of green.
You were here with me
and on your face was life and gleam,
no words left to speak.
You just smiled, showing all your teeth
but the light in you quickly diminished,
it was all a dream.
]]>I love when we meet.
cause when you’re silent, his aura speaks.
Puts words to all you critique.
He’s such a comfort in times like these.
I swear I’m addicted to your light, as dim as it may be.
I’ll lie to myself and say it gives me vision, knowing neither of us can see.
And among the pain, you forced a laugh to give my happiness a companion.
To hide it; a selfless deed,
much kinder than me.
]]>the way my heart perceived a quiet place when my mind was at ease.
I felt peace.
Another moment like this isn’t guaranteed,
so when our eyes are laid upon one another, take precious care of the sight you see.
In due time, it’ll be a distant memory.
Be in the moment,
indulge in me.
I plead.
But when you come near,
my spirit flees.
The emptiness is so loud,
it inhabits me.
I remember when we would sit
upon the clouds of delusion,
thinking your heart was a perfect fit for mine.
I was blind.
Sharp triggers would move those clouds aside,
brought about rain this time.
I had no idea how
we would survive these tides.
You told me you would save me,
I don’t believe that this time.
I was the only one fighting
to keep peace in our lives.
There came a time
I was saddened by the lack of light inside
so I focused on the better parts of you,
let the rest drag behind.
And I felt fine.
But it hurt to see the better parts of you were solely in my mind,
and the light that kept you visible
were stolen from pieces of mine.
]]>and dream of blissful highs.
This man of mine,
too wise to mislead our minds
and I seem to be stuck in that moment of time.
Everybody tells me I’m blind,
that there’s no home in this shell of a man.
I find I fit just fine.
When we meet, I enjoy the change of feeling,
take note of the time.
So I walk the same route,
thinking your heart would meet mine,
but you hide
and bear of the weight of our problems, causing wars inside.
Why won’t you talk to me? Aren’t you tired of parading your pride?
Deceiving the ones you see, but you can only part so far from me.
I’ll sink in this bed with you a little longer,
hoping it’ll bring us closer.
Two lost souls pouring light into the other,
just as kids do.
So when one hurts the other,
I recluse inside.
Fearing the damage I’ve caused to the one I stand beside.
When the skies turn to gray, and the guilt of absent words clouds my judgement of time.
I imagined having more kisses, more hugs, more memories to bind.
Look at where our love has left us, skin and bones,
and your body language that’s all too familiar to this little girl still struggling with life.
Juggling truths and lies, expression through bouts of anger
only push us to separate sides.
I know you hoped for a rescue other than I,
maybe the therapy would succeed and extinguish the fumes you held inside.
I stood in mine, but you went running, still, I heard your cries.
Even louder than mine.
Just dry your tears and pray
we make it out this bitter place.
But when the words commence, your spirit walks away.
I search for the body that follows
and I’m saddened by what I find:
just the shell of a man, coming to terms with his dreams being left behind.
I can’t help but notice a once joyous union now houses somber spirits, and the emptiness echoes cries.
When issues arise, you hide,
fighting battles by your lonesome cause I’m not allowed inside.
For the time being, I’ll swallow my pride.
Stand beside a love that only makes sense to you and I.
Hoping the space would change your mind,
but I close my eyes and let you decide.
I thought I could fix you,
and I tried.
You don’t know the misery
of a heart gone blind,
willing to do anything to change the way you felt inside.
Although you’re one of a kind,
I won’t tell a lie,
there is subtle anger
when you cross my mind.
How you were able to transition
and left my heart behind.
Maybe you’ve made it outside
admiring the skies
among the balcony of worries we’ve built to cover tall tales and lies.
How do you miss the signs of somebody you watched so closely?
I saw you drowning,
but I pushed it to the side.
Thinking you’d just hold on for dear life, scared to save your life and lose mine.
These days I wait for the guilt to subside
but it’s still lurking in my mind.
Captive among the occasional grips that love is no longer by my side.
It’s only apparent how much I lack inside.
I could implode, lash out and cry,
rather I consider how it shows up in my life.
Through my lack of patience, through my lies,
through the cold act I’ve adopted to avoid emotional bribes.
When my knees weaken and my head falls to my feet,
do I remain bare? Do I keep it there?
Do I bask in these peaks of delusion before my grief takes the lead?
In this weight of life, it feels so cold and gray.
They think I’m made of stone,
but I am insecure. I’m fragile and I tend to break.
We’ve all got demons we face,
some turn into bitter people who snark at the nearest embrace.
Some are captive by acceptance and that’s the life they chase.
When I’m at a crossroads and I fear both paths to take,
I find myself slower to anger,
I have a God that guides the way.
So when my heart starts breaking and in floods the shame, I give it all to Him.
In a life so grim, we’re way too beautiful to feel this pain.
I know you’re in a good place, you’re safe.
No more running, no more hiding your face.
My heart still sings somber tones, and it starts breaking when I lay,
in a bed so empty, but I find rest because you’re ok.
So don’t worry about me.
Walk unto to the promise land,
your spirit is free.
Remove these shackles from your feet,
Glory, let it be.
]]>
when my faith has seeped,
when my doubts are louder than the strength I keep,
will you rock me to sleep?
Will you silence my weeps?
When I come to you in moments of sadness,
full of expression and barely at ease
then, am I weak?
Even in my misery,
I’m stubborn in my ability to upkeep an image of the strongest being,
only to realize I’m that giant among smaller things.
When my world has fallen apart and I feel no angel to guide me from the dark,
will you speak to my heart? Will you guide me and never part?
Through my loudest cries and my deepest sorrows,
will you still care? Will I find you there?
Through my anger, and my frustrations, in my depression, and my dedication.
Through my moments of joy and my affairs with pain,
to prepare for the day we must part,
yet an angel is gained.
Don’t let our trauma show its face again.
When our triumph takes my breath
and our defeat looks the best,
rest.
Don’t ponder how you’ll build from the crumbs you have left.
Think back to the moments of time when our love was in bliss, move forward,
hear my last wish.
In my final moments and my deepest despair,
lend me an ear.
Don’t come with answers,
don’t fix my fears,
don’t ask me questions that my heart can’t hear.
Don’t dry my tears,
with all there is to bear,
just be near.
When my legs find no strength
and my power is gone,
when my will has diminished and I’ve been pushed beyond,
take me to the gates, carry me home.
Give me rest,
embrace me in my final state.
Don’t use words to confess our mistakes, let our spirits meet, let the silence speak.
When your light is dim
and my halo appears
don’t turn your head,
mend those fears.
For the absence of one is the birth of another,
So as you grieve the ground that’s been broken,
look through those cracks beneath you, find all there is to discover.
Go out on a limb, dig out all those pieces you’ve covered.
Don’t excuse your emotion when our memories come to surface,
don’t run from the moment.
Embrace the broken,
draw them near.
No matter how much you wander, or how far you veer,
Don’t hide your scares,
take them to the King,
and I’ll be there. ©
]]>Here we lay nose to nose
bare skin exposed,
in the midst of a hurricane
that dares to destroy what’s taken us years to make.
We’ve soldiered through many battles, but this disease I can’t take in my home,
not on my own.
I used to find comfort in being alone,
well acquainted with the pain and the friends it brings.
Now all of the silence tells me to lapse and bring the long suffering to a cease.
Boy was I close.
Let me go back on the vows I’ve made
and we’ve got a bigger issue to face,
past the scars that are placed
on the most modest bodies in weak moments to escape.
Don’t know where to place the blame
but I know if I take another hit, I’m bound to cave.
We don’t talk anymore
I can feel the guilt creeping in,
I see it in your face,
didn’t know the cries for help and concerns would put us in an even darker place.
My beloved is so brave to take advantage of a good heart and drag it across months of anxious warnings and fears that fought its way past these tears,
all of which played a part in why we’ve been distant these years.
How did we end up here?
Trace back to good memories that have brought us greater fears,
so I ponder if they were ever there.
I question why I’m going back to traumatic events only to try and save what’s here.
I pray for the woman I was when we met.
Lord knows she’s still in here
fighting to be heard,
longing for the touch of a man who spoke genuine love and confessions,
who blindly followed the lead of her loves regardless of his direction.
Naive enough to believe she could pray away the dark clouds and depression.
If everything else is taken away,
my love will never change, rather its lack of conditions.
But you’ve drug me down to darker pits and places I can’t remain.
I pray for us as one, wishing we could escape the pain regardless of its deeper meaning.
Transition into the afterlife and visit you when you’re dreaming,
get ahold of those nightmares that keep you screaming.
For the time being,
forgive me for my selfish concerns and fill me with well wishes.
Uphold my body with your decor you know it so greatly misses.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>my ancestors can hear.
I bear their souls and anguish,
yet my Savior appears.
To reminisce of times filled with trouble and here we stand
reminded of the beauty in the struggle
and its piercing demands.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>
A new day opens, and I’m met with your grace
expecting to turn and see your face,
rather the sun lays upon your place.
In this stage I’ve become complacent
with the absence of my ace.
I’ve spared the chase
of a replace
that will never fill your space.
I collided so hard, lost track of pace,
enjoyed the wounds it gave,
plus pain is in my race.
I long for luxury.
These ideals of riches are controlling me.
Craving discounted love that fills me up, then leaves, mean thieves.
Later that night I was awaken from my sleep,
my ears filled with your screech.
Your arms would touch mine,
looking for some comfort and believe me,
I was trying.
I question what you were trying to escape,
your body or the trauma that kept you awake?
Have you gained some control?
It’s quiet,
your pain, so silent.
The days of long conversations have closed,
you’re no longer open when it comes to what I can know.
It’s only a matter of time before your ticket is pulled.
Grand entrance, grand exit
it’s only your demons you’ve fooled.
And when you met your dark demise,
I died a little bit inside.
I watched you inhabit dark places and
suddenly you’re less proud.
I know you know the danger in it.
Still, you stuck around.
Breaking yourself to keep me whole,
now I’m uncovering secrets you patrolled.
If my loneliness means your peace
then it’s bittersweet,
a deep-rooted symphony
that mirrors you and me.
Listen closely.
Hold steady this peace.
I enjoy moments like these,
just you and me.
Still water as I imagine your face.
Your genes combined with mine,
such a beautiful sight.
We mix fire with fire and bask in our delight.
I bloom like a flower as I look into your eyes.
One last time.
I’m flooded with emotion
cause your spirit removes angst,
brings upon peace.
God’s grace is the water,
our bodies the vase.
What He has joined together,
let no man break.
Where love resides, death has no place.
I don’t recognize this paleness that has filled your face.
I grieve you in my heart.
Distant, still I send my regards.
Spirits lifted,
pass the clouds and into the heavens.
I send a prayer, hope it finds your heart.
The laughs we shared, the fights we endured. The love we made, the pain we carried,
don’t believe it was all in vain.
Sometimes I just sit and think of you.
To grieve a hero is to grieve a person who molded themselves into a piece of you,
and you’re place there is permanent.
When we meet again is uncertain
but I’ll be counting the days we’re apart,
and all of the pain it brought.
I’m a new woman now, outgrown my cheap thoughts.
I find myself pondering whether you’d be proud or not.
Your purpose in my life
was so misunderstood.
I would hold you so close to me, and you’d stay as long as you could.
I think there’s lessons to be learned when a loved one transitions.
It’s taught my heart to fill itself
with love and well-wishes.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>Angel wings adorn my door view
a silhouette stands,
he looks just like you.
Pressed for time so I blink my eyes,
too good to be true.
I remember the last time we spoke,
told me you’d be back in a few.
Hours turn to days, days turn to years.
Is my body too corrupt
to acknowledge pain and the friends it brings?
I’m real close with these tears
just a natural response to immerse this pain
back into my tear ducts, and there they will remain.
On the verge of falling,
and a breakdown is at stake.
Apologies turn to blaming you
for emotions you couldn’t fool.
I even run rivers through my carpet.
One memory relapses, cue the faucet
then I toss it
to the back of my mind.
I know I look a mess, I swear I’m trying.
Plus I’m hiding, from the episodes of crying.
Everything has a place, I know it’s coming soon.
Thinking if I avoid it, the heaviness will disappear, and my tears will follow suit.
Takes too much discomfort to face it.
I’m dying
hoping somebody would notice
I’ve spent years in my darkest places,
feeling hopeless.
Losing my muse, my soul,
my spirit, my focus.
I’m not that strong
to take another
but I’m unsure how to deal with these things.
It’s only part of the process,
still, I hate the honesty it brings.
I’ll drag these growing pains onto my back,
wear them as wings
that lift me to the heavens
where we convene as kings.
I’ve missed your heart that would join me in this moment.
The vows we made before a God so forgiving,
for one, another chosen.
And it’s our only job to cherish one another while we have the time.
Before the transition of one, leaves another with a spirit less sublime.
I traveled back in time to find your heart,
assumed you left it there
and what I faced was a surprise in itself,
a man lay bare.
Said his heart had been taken,
and there went his fight.
The sight of it frightened me,
thinking I should follow suit.
I lay gasping for air.
Do I wanna go out sad?
I let them win, thinking they took all I had.
If I’ve learned anything in grief
it’s to understand that the spirit in me
remains at peace,
I could just as easily slip into a dark place, let this breathing cease.
Now my mind is a thief of good times gone to waste,
has me pondering peace.
Now that you’re gone, I reminisce
when your hands touched mine,
I could feel the scars you uncovered.
Broke myself trying to keep you upright
but you’d rather be glass and the mess it brings
and I would gather your small pieces night after night,
slip them into my silk pockets and hide the knives.
I’ve grown to forgive myself for the signs I ignored,
for the wisdom I was missing, but found as I get older.
To feel pain is a duty, I’m only hiding my tears as a cover
to avoid questions, to explain my circumstance to another.
I am humbled.
To witness your strength crumble.
You grew deeper and deeper into your mind
where the agony sparked episodes of rage, followed by the wailing and crying.
I know you were trying.
Dark skies and rain compliment my weeping.
Your shirts still hang in my loft.
I grasp them often, ponder which ones are worth keeping.
I feel you everywhere.
You visit me often?
Is my brain filling voids that my heart keeps open?
Your smell fills this room, so potent
in your absence.
You still have your things here.
Tried touching them and I was ushered off
with aggression.
I didn’t dare raise another arm, yet I miss it all:
your touch so tender, your quiet smile, your speech.
Made me realize you’re never too far gone, but just beyond my reach.
And when the lonely overtakes me,
I take deep breathes and feed affirmations.
Tell myself little lies like ‘you’re on vacation.’
Some days at noon, I walk into our bedroom
and see you on your knees.
Sometimes I wonder what you’re asking for,
if I’m ever included,
If I could’ve put a name to all of the things you alluded.
As I reminisce, you said it all
but those secrets I’ll be keeping.
I’ve learned to live among the horror
that hugs me when I’m sleeping.
His little feet kicks me
when he feels the woes I’m reaping.
I’ll fulfill my duty in motherhood
as where you lay is silent.
From your body, flowers bloom
and it’s only in me to see this beauty.
From dark times to brighter skies,
I know your love will be born again,
and I’ll be the one to raise it.
A little man from seeds of glory
and blood that runs for miles.
I’ll do it all to preserve that smile,
and to cherish him will be my duty.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>as this pain grows deep.
I feel it in my bones,
thought I could fill you with hope,
now I’m alone.
It’s hard to grasp the time we’re here.
At some points we make connections as
goodbyes are near.
Scared,
cause I know I’m unprepared
for this goodbye I’ll have to endure.
I hate living in fear,
plus my destination is unclear.
Each day we take for granted,
thinking it’s debts were owed.
Thinking we’re the kings in these lives we hold.
We face the truth as it’s hard and cold,
but we have yet to gain control.
Grief is steady and it feels like I’ll fold
under pressure cause I know
the act is getting old.
Ships are sinking,
people jumping abroad.
Is this the life that we aim to embrace?
These fake smiles and lies pain paints upon our face?
I recall our time together,
grief still nears,
brings about tense emotion
and subtle tears.
Emotions are brief.
There were days your pain spoke the loudest,
still I never judged you,
understood the burden to hold,
plus I have demons too.
Still, we sit on thrones.
Reflect at how much we’ve grown.
Let insecurity lead, it’s an opportunity blown.
As your palms unwind, I take full portions.
Life has escaped your touch.
I lay in tears and beg for more.
One word, one look as
hearts fold in laps.
This battle is looking gruesome,
feels like I’m losing.
It’s the pain of not having you here,
it clings to me like bruised skin.
Even in my grief, my pain is unspoken.
I smiled yesterday,
felt your sun rays upon my face.
It’s been so long since I’ve felt your affection
and in that moment, it felt like we were in the right places.
Regrets for a moment’s time,
escaped.
Nights I begged your trauma would do the same.
Those little heartstrings
were running for miles,
trying to outcry your heartbeats.
Is this the peace you wanted?
Have you found a resting place?
Has your spirit found forgiveness
for all your past mistakes?
Even in the midst of our trauma,
beauty grows.
We emerge from pain,
small victory, still its celebrated.
We raise lanterns and look up to the sky where you’ve elevated.
I still pay you visits when I feel a disconnection,
I promise I come in peace.
The moment I’m next to you,
these worries flee.
You’ve spent too many days in this dead space.
At any point this war should cease,
end with apologies that unveil
our most fragile piece.
Grief
sits at the center of both you and me.
Our biggest burden, our missing piece.
I’m forgone in times like these.
My heart only pumps to relieve
this trouble
that lays between you and me.
Left me pondering
what caused you to leave.
Conflict only fed your defeat.
I never judged you,
only aware you needed space to breathe.
It always amazed me how
your thoughts could kidnap
the most innocent being.
Took the confidence from under your feet.
So you planted all of your hope
into me.
Days pass where it felt like greed.
How misery became your sponsor
and left no space for me.
Suddenly words were sparse,
then I couldn’t find the human being.
I ponder how I must carry
two burdens of a broken heart
and only one beats.
It weighs on me so heavily.
In dark times like these, I ask of you
one thing:
show up with the ones who loved me,
the ones I miss to this day.
Don’t leave an empty seat.
When the time has come to meet,
bring me affirmations crafted from the words you speak.
Build me up when I’m weak.
I’ll cherish the times we were so unapologetic and
loved without a cause.
The nights we planned for a marriage and children running down these halls.
The scriptures tell me good things come to those that wait,
and believe me, I will.
I’ll wait from this lifetime to the next
to see the big reveal.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>hiding the pain underneath.
I wonder if this grief will ever fade,
if it is here to stay.
Please vacate.
It’s hard to be present these days,
conversations are strained.
Everybody is looking to me,
where is my defense when I’m in need?
Suddenly I’m supposed to take the lead?
Is the black woman supposed
to carry the weight of everyone’s grief?
Then stand to her feet,
and lead?
Just tell me when I’m allowed to breathe through this pure grief.
It won’t let me sleep,
just replays our memories when I’m supposed to feel some peace.
Late nights, I wonder if you overhear my sobs and quiet cries
I can’t disguise.
How could this be?
Was that our goodbye?
I almost drowned this evening
walking side by side,
held my breathe as I waved goodbye.
True tragedy,
how I‘m sinking
and nobody bats an eye.
I swore I shattered my vocal cords last night.
I called for your name hoping you’d reply,
nobody heard my cries.
Soul ties,
how I feel even closer despite your demise.
Let it be just you and I.
Close all the doors to my mind,
lock them behind.
I wish I could hide
in these crowds of somber cries.
To be the woman who embodies strength,
is painful as much as it is
a mental game.
I chase down my composure
as I draw you closer.
Spiritually, you’re more present than before.
I love when you’re around,
I feel so much warmth.
Just warn me when you’re about to speak,
send me signs that bring relief,
don’t let this feeling leave.
Night after night we meet,
I awake on these tear-stained sheets.
Noticing when we part,
all of my dreams leave.
If your goal was to be free,
I reconsider this pain,
suddenly it was meant to be.
Somehow it was meant for me.
These thoughts are an instinct.
I’m running to this sadness
better disguised as a lie.
Don’t pass judgement,
it makes me feel alive.
My pride
tells me I’m just fine.
I’m only hurting myself,
cause I know that’s a lie.
I’ve been waiting for the day I awake,
and the pain would subside.
My soulmate.
My safe place.
The distance could never change
the bond we maintained.
Nobody can take your place.
So in this moment, let me be at peace.
Let our spirits reconvene
at a time that’s more fulfilling,
in places more serene.
With nothing to hide,
just you and I.
Our soul ties, will never die.
Our soul ties, will never die.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>I’ve been talking to God nonstop.
Came to Him with my heart caving inward, just craving something meaningful.
My mind was on a downward spiral,
yet our dialect was beautiful.
I’ve experienced true abundance
in the times I had the least in me.
Those nights I went soul searching,
found a menu on Your plate of compassion.
Words of guidance spoken
from the King Himself,
served up and rationed.
Your awareness of my intention was something that intrigued me.
It’s amazing how I feel Your spirit in me,
how You walk about so freely.
Who sent You,
fully dressed in my blessings?
Warm arms of protection
You’ve gifted in me such awareness
from my life experiences.
Taught me that wisdom is contingent upon my willingness to be wrong,
and listen.
Nights like this I give You honor
and I pray in You I learn commitment.
Bring me patience in these months of harvest.
Show me whether planting seeds
in this moment in time will be met with abundance or famine in the coming seasons,
its all based in these conversations.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>Is it those soulful hymns that all can sing?
That sweet, tender form of words that find its place so perfectly?
Those expressions of pain, and experience that wear on the face,
And tug on the heart so powerfully?
Or is it the beautiful array of notes that seem to speak to you so deeply?
And so it sings....
They say "she's a runner."
But I'm known to walk alone when my imagination serves me better than my reality.
"I've never been one to maintain stable relationships", she says.
"Always been greeted by the absence of something.
An absence I'm so grateful for.
The purpose it's served has guided me so greatly in life.
It's forced me to find a way on my own."
"She's a survivor", they say.
"A work of art whose mind serves as her biggest asset, and at times, her biggest enemy."
With this mind oozes strength.
Her vigor speaks volumes.
She's an innovative girl, strictly motivated by the fear of being average,
Her ambition is on another level.
Her hard work is what contributes to what she has.
The foundation of the earth planted by His hands is what carries her through the day,
It's what catches her feet when she stumbles over the hurdles placed before her.
It saves her.
The soft breezes of whisper that kiss her face,
It saves her.
But believe me when I say,
Her flaws weigh heavy like the burden of a heartbreak.
They're like the trees that stand so tall,
And stick out like a sore thumb.
The trees of such deformity give life,
And therefore bring about small blessings.
Just as He will see your flaws,
And use them to give you blessings.
But we choose to mask them,
And run away from our blessings.
Just as the trees are seasonally covered with makeup,
But are forced to bare naked in the harshest months.
But here we stand as cowards,
And sit fully clothed when the storms of life are raging on.
We only lay naked to reap the fruits and benefits of which we are promised.
But she,
She choses to stand alone,
Letting all of her imperfections pour out from the woodworks,
And into her hands.
She survives off of the honesty.
Believe her when she says,
She is not afraid to eat alone.
So she walks out into the garden, barefoot and organic,
And in elevation sits a fire.
She gets a certain glow when she lets this heat bake upon her skin.
I find that this very thing is what keeps her warm in a humanity being built and chiseled out of ice.
In a certain way,
She finds that her spirit and the sun are connected.
Being that when one rests, the other follows suit.
Then the deeper form awakens
Straight out of the vulnerable state.
So she speaks...
"I'm a believer.
An apostle who trusts that no strength upon my life was simply given to me, but earned.
I have big visions of my success,
Big visions of capturing moments.
I have plans to be a game changer,
To be intriguing with every word that I speak.
To be a woman who is not driven by money, but the passion that burns inside of me.
A tenacious advocate of self-love,
I plan to be a woman who gets it on her own.
To embrace the artist inside of me in every possible nature.
I plan to be myself in the rawest form.
This crazy sensitive, beautiful human being.
This fearlessly strong, hardworking melanin queen.
A dreamer in the most humble form one can be."
She is I. And I am she.
The deeper, rawer form of me speaks.
I find that she's so protective of me.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>with dreams,
and society there to oppose them.
A black man
so gifted,
to others this is poison.
Why do you fear my greatness?
Am I a threat to your plans?
You speak with so much hatred
with my blood on your hands.
Are you angry you can not stop me?
That my steps are directed?
Pardon my curiosity, what is the root of this aggression?
Is it generational guilt?
Has your conscious slightly drifted?
Are you aware of these colonizing people
seating devils in God’s position?
Spoon fed me lies as an adolescence,
got paid a salary to my dismay.
To do a job is understood, but it’s the kids you’re told to betray?
Is your mind so rooted in ignorance
you must rewrite history as it’s taught?
I’m aware of your agenda,
some minds are not.
The time will come when you’ll learn
that true riches have no value attached,
that the God that’s in my heart
outweighs your evil attacks.
So tell me how your heart feels
to be plagued by such evil?
You can speak hatred for years to come,
but it will never break my people.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>Pour that honey you call love into my holes, let it marinate.
Fill me up, I promise I won't get tired.
Let those echoes that fill this bareness speak words of healing.
Let me progress without you.
Oh how we still move in unison regardless of whether we are near or apart.
How I fall apart.
Fall in love with me again, don't leave me twisted.
Refill those holes you burnt into me with dirt.
Allow my roots to reach you in distant places.
This keeps me grounded.
All of this keeps me grounded.
Just as that day you left me and never came back, carrying my roots with you.
Leaving me to grow and make up for the time we are still losing.
Our distance.
It keeps me grounded.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>He holds her head up when she’s crying and ashamed to face the world they live in.
Her pain cuts so deep, and leaves her empty in every portion.
She’s broken, betrayed, and doesn’t know how to face it.
Somehow, on those bitter cold days, he pulls her out of bed and gives her the strength to acknowledge the pain and shape it.
He’s her backbone and she never wants to leave his side, all of her purpose resides in him.
All of this comfort was only temporary, when some day he’ll up and leave, with no plan to return.
And one day she’ll get out of that bed alone, look within herself, and find purpose that was there all along.
One day, those portions will be great and overflow with the confidence she craved.
One day, she’ll look at herself and feel good enough for the feet that carry her.
One day, she’ll be walking and glance upon the sky, thankful that she never caved.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
]]>So angelic in the way they frame your body.
I’d hate to admit you’re in a different place than me, that our worlds no longer connect.
Forgive me for not being happy, with your spirit being at peace.
Because without you, I feel no purpose,
I have no happiness inside.
So I bid my farewell to you darling, in the softest state of my being.
But please know that without you I am broken, and slowly crumbling piece by piece.
Oh how I miss my sunshine, insecurely lighting up every room with that radiance you never crafted.
Just the brightness of your face alone is difficult to get out of my head.
I can’t remember exactly when that life of yours slipped so violently out of your grip.
It happened before the eyes of us both.
And I thought I was keeping you safe by placing you in the palms of my hands.
But how fragile your life became when it was at the mercy of my frustration.
All I can ask is for forgiveness from you, broken in the same stance you took before me.
I can’t forgive myself for thinking about you, though nothing about you can be forgotten.
You were so wonderfully made.
Your appearance played no part in what your heart spoke at the time of your departure.
No one knows how many times you broke down, drowning in those tears, screaming in agony.
And how I put you together, held us together through it all.
How I held together these seams between the two of us with these bare hands of mine.
But my strength was crucial, and wasn’t strong enough,
It wasn’t me that could make you happy.
Your grief and misery was endless,
You just couldn’t find a reason to stay.
Couldn’t find it within yourself to fight for me.
And now without you here, I don’t even want to fight for me.
Part of me wants to tell you to save some space for me up there,
That I’ll be coming home soon.
It still tears me up how you took something, so important to the both of us.
How you so selfishly took your life, and now you can’t show up for the sake of our love.
Tell me why you had to give in to those demons, write your life away so quickly?
Just let me know you’re safe, and I’ll stay down here for the both of us.
But when times get too rough, I’ll ask you how it is up there, and maybe I’ll come to see you.
It just breaks me how you caved, and in all of my efforts, I couldn’t save you.
© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
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© 2020, Zion-Glory. All rights reserved.
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