You and your pretty wings,
So angelic in the way they frame your body.
I’d hate to admit you’re in a different place than me, that our worlds no longer connect.
Forgive me for not being happy, with your spirit being at peace.
Because without you, I feel no purpose,
I have no happiness inside.
So I bid my farewell to you darling, in the softest state of my being.
But please know that without you I am broken, and slowly crumbling piece by piece.
Oh how I miss my sunshine, insecurely lighting up every room with that radiance you never crafted.
Just the brightness of your face alone is difficult to get out of my head.
I can’t remember exactly when that life of yours slipped so violently out of your grip.
It happened before the eyes of us both.
And I thought I was keeping you safe by placing you in the palms of my hands.
But how fragile your life became when it was at the mercy of my frustration.
All I can ask is for forgiveness from you, broken in the same stance you took before me.
I can’t forgive myself for thinking about you, though nothing about you can be forgotten.
You were so wonderfully made.
Your appearance played no part in what your heart spoke at the time of your departure.
No one knows how many times you broke down, drowning in those tears, screaming in agony.
And how I put you together, held us together through it all.
How I held together these seams between the two of us with these bare hands of mine.
But my strength was crucial, and wasn’t strong enough,
It wasn’t me that could make you happy.
Your grief and misery was endless,
You just couldn’t find a reason to stay.
Couldn’t find it within yourself to fight for me.
And now without you here, I don’t even want to fight for me.
Part of me wants to tell you to save some space for me up there,
That I’ll be coming home soon.
It still tears me up how you took something, so important to the both of us.
How you so selfishly took your life, and now you can’t show up for the sake of our love.
Tell me why you had to give in to those demons, write your life away so quickly?
Just let me know you’re safe, and I’ll stay down here for the both of us.
But when times get too rough, I’ll ask you how it is up there, and maybe I’ll come to see you.
It just breaks me how you caved, and in all of my efforts, I couldn’t save you.
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